I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
