I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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