Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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