why didn't you poke me back
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
