You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
