is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
