I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
