I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
