His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize