He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize