Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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