would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Come on in and take your pants off
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