i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize