Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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