I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
