So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
