so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize