just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
