either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize