I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
