you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
