i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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