4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
