So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
