So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
