Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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