i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
