i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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