I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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