I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
