He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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