If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
