ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
