Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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