My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
