just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
