I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
