Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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