I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Randomize
