guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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