...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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