If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
