just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
How's work?
Spinning.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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