I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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