Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
