You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
