Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
