you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
