According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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