you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
