Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
