Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
