The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
