Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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