The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
