Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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