left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
