Plan B is the new Plan A
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
