Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
