every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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