I murdered the dance floor call the cops
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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