You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
