i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
