So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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