i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
