Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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