I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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