Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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