David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
